ALISON ZULLO CAN DO THINGS

i was just looking for my birth certificate in my email archives and i stumbled across this interview between me and ryan manning for thunk.

there is no record of our love on the internet.

RM: what is your ethnicity?
AZ: i'm half italian and half german.

R: what do you aspire to?
A: being able to support myself by doing something i love and having that positively affect the lives of other people.
i would also like to be famous enough to have an intern who is willing to transcribe everything i say because most of the time i'm really funny and i have a bad memory.

R: what is your ultimate fantasy?
A: if we're speaking non-sexually, it would be great if my love for the internet was not unrequited. i mean, the internet has already been living with me in my apartment for almost 6 years and i'm ready to take our relationship to the next level. i would like to bring the internet home to my parents and introduce it as my boyfriend.
if we are speaking sexually, i would say, without going far into details, that at the end of my fantasy i will have at least one black eye, ligature marks, and light to severe bruising on my neck and body.

R: under what circumstances would you tell a lie?
A: well, since i'm what you might call a "compulsive liar", pretty much any circumstances will do. In fact, I'm lying right now. I'm not a compulsive liar.

R: what qualities attract you to someone?
A: strong forearms and a good sense of humor. i'm also attracted to the smell of men's armpits but i think that has to do more with science than personal preference.

R: when you were growing up what did you want to be?
A: i always wanted to be an interior designer and then i became an interior designer and i realized i actually didn't want to be an interior designer. now i want to be a math teacher but i don't think that will happen.

R: what is your political affiliation?
A: i'm registered as a democrat but i believe in socialism.

R: has anyone ever said something about you to you that shocked you?
A: i think that i'm pretty self aware...i get shocked anytime someone compliments me. once someone told me my writing was good and i thought that was shocking since i don't consider myself a writer.

R: do you like talking on the phone?
A: i'd rather talk on the phone than check my voice mail.

R: did either of your parents ever talk to you about sex when you were growing up?
A: i don't think so. but my mother called me last month and asked me if i was on birth control and i told her i wasn't because i didn't want to pay for it. she told me if i wanted to be on birth control she could get it for free and then suggested i accept her offer so i did. that's the most sex talk we've ever had.

R: what do you think happens to us after we die?
A: our tissues break down into simpler forms of matter?

R: do you like where you live?
A: very much...there are 5 people, 1 cat, and 1 dog and the walls are made of metal studs and cardboard. its like a circus fort for adults.

R: what sort of things would cause you to lose your temper?
A: i get kind of angry when people on the subway are playing music out loud on their cell phones or babies are crying. i think there are many other things that cause me to lose my temper based on the number of times i'm told to "calm down", but i can't think of what they are right now.

R: if you could be anywhere in the world doing anything you wanted right now, where would you be and what would you be doing?
A: i would be in germany eating some schnitzel and bratworst and a drinking beer with banana juice in it.

R: if you were to choose between the power of invisibility and the power of flight, which would you choose and why?
A: i would choose invisibility for two reasons:
1. i'm a creep/stalker and invisibility would prove beneficial in my stealthy activities, and
2. i wouldn't want to have to explain to anyone the reason i could fly. i don't really like talking to people that much.

R: what do you want your last meal to be?
A: maybe the biggest burrito ever, heavy on the guac.

R: you have three wishes. what are they?
A: 1. my family and friends stay healthy and happy.
2. FakeOrange becomes something more than a project we do for fun, but always stays a project we do for fun.
3. the internet falls in love with me.

R: how do you feel about this interview?
A: i like it because it made me feel good about myself. thanks for that.

man. thank god no one looks at this blog. im the worst blogger ever. only asian robots look at it. and thats ok with me.

SO its been over a month. and in that time i've been mostly trying to get a tan. and doing bikram everything. bikram eating, bikram sleeping, bikram fetch, bikram tv watching

but i've also been bikram working. and we're kind of in the final push for submissions for the next fakeorange and im glad to get that going again.

although i think i might need a brief InDesign break once this whole annual report thing is over.

robbie and i have decided to finally join forces officially and start our own design studio and im REALLY EXCITED about it. i've been doing design on my own for too long...it will be nice to have someone to design-talk to.

here are some things i did: