12.29.2008

i can handle 13 hours of travel

tomorrow i'll begin the long voyage from new bern, nc to point pleasant, nj and finally to bushwick, bk.

its about time. 
i feel like i havent been home in so long.
i cant wait to sleep in my own bed.

12.27.2008

i can predict gradients in my sleep

last night i dreamt of driving through an apple orchard with seth, sam, alfie, and bj. there was a beautfiul art installation all throughout the trees, apparently created by a process called gradient prediction or predictive gradients- i cant remember which now.

i have no idea what these processes are and have never heard of them before. i dont know why or how they've appeared in my sleep thoughts.

i think maybe i should pursue this, any of this, in some form or another.

12.20.2008

i can buy a plane ticket to denver


cant wait to destroy denver!

(photo bo streeter)

12.19.2008

i can make fun of my roommate

apparently filled with 'amphibians of the dark'

12.18.2008

i can mourn the death of sparks


sad sad news everyone.

MILWAUKEE (AP) — MillerCoors LLC announced Thursday it will remove caffeine and three other ingredients from its Sparks alcoholic energy drink in a deal with 13 states and the city of San Francisco, who had contended the drink targeted young drinkers.


oh my god! what an awful idea! its the alcoholic energy drink! what am i going to drink during finals week!?

its the end of an era. im obviously not going to drink it anymore and i dont see why anyone would. unless you like boozy liquid pixie stix.

no more olde yellers:


no more sparks mouth:


no more tempting the valves of my heart:


no more deathwalking across the williamsburg bridge from bushwick to union square and riding little tiny bicycles:


no more sparks pong:


i remember when sparks first came on the scene no one knew it had alcohol in it so me and luke could drink it openly in class and not get in trouble. evidence of this in my notes from 2005:

i miss those days.

boo hoo. im going to turn my basement into an OG sparks fallout shelter. i need to start buying in bulk and stocking up asap.

heres the full article

12.14.2008

i can envision a world with good design

i dont know if it has something to do with the economy or maybe people are bored, but im pretty excited about all this new graphic design in beverages. yesterday i saw the new tropicana carton and today i bumped into the new pepsi bottle-with a new logo (!?!) outrageous. i like how the "e" in pepsi is reminiscent of the original logo. good work!



i suppose i dont really LOVE either of them, but certainly its an improvement. its about time america started picking up what the rest of the world is putting down.

i <3 sans serif fonts.



i heard duane reade redesigned their logo as well, but i have not seen it YET

12.13.2008

i can live past 25

im 25 and not dead.
this is great.

12.11.2008

i can get enough fiber


kind of addicted right now. just cant get enough.

i can survive finals

i just presented the most awful project i have ever done in my life...and got a good critique.

 either this school is retarded or im a genius.

12.10.2008

i can see my life flash before my eyes




this is the first volkswagen yellow cab i've ever seen....almost ran me down!

i have a big project due tomorrow. it is obvious based on the number of posts in the past few minutes. so good at procrastinating.

BUT! knocked out three finals today.. our national museum of american history critique went shockingly well...we might actually win? i kind of have mixed feelings about that. im not sure i want to continue working on this project. i'll post pics later on when i need to procrastinate again.

only two left! then birthday time!

i can build a lighting fixture

here is another lighting fixture i made for my lighting design class.
its supposed to be an abstraction of sunlight coming through trees and is meant to be seen from underneath.

made of paper, styrene, and polycarbonate





i can buy food from the bodega and pretend i made it


today is dana's birthday. me and alfie made her these cupcakes/cosmic brownies from scratch at 11:59 last night.

12.08.2008

i can ingest massive amounts of sugar

my mouth hurts from too many sweetarts. 
should probably crush them and snort them. 

rainbow boogers

i can overdose on caffeine



notice how well i have evolved my homeless chic look. notice the heart attack i hold in my hands. shit man. urban waterfall.

i can be delirious

if you close your eyes and walk down w 28th street it really smells like christmas.

also, when i opened my eyes i saw a miniature iguana-dead between the cracks in the sidewalk. i think perhaps this was not real.

12.07.2008

i can get hypothermia inside my bedroom



im totally dead and my room is freezing.
this week needs to be over.

12.04.2008

i can make ornaments

so we decorated the tree last night and it was pretty miraculous. so much glitter and felt and pop punk christmas. also, some unexpected guests and lots of drunk.

dont ask me how little wayne made it on top of the tree...our lil wayngel.







and yes, we did cut holes in the photo of lil wayne so that his watch, earring, and ring would all look extra blingin' with the light shining through.

i can drive

while talking with robin about my procedes chenel project, we kind of got side tracked and he introduced me to the nissan cube. its not a car, but a 'mobile device'

its pretty..pretty.. awesome. usually asymmetry gives me anxiety, but in this case it really works for me. the rear windows are amazing. if i could have a car i would possibly want this one...i cant wait til they come to america.






12.03.2008

i can drink moonshine and live to tell the tale

here it comes: the end of the semester. less than a week and half to go and about 6 more projects.

everything is really really crazy.

im coming off a four day thanksgiving bender filled with amazing friends, yugoslavian moonshine, and fetal lovin'. all this work is totally killing my buzz, maaaan.

tonight i will destress for a little bit. we're putting up the fakeorange christmas tree tonight and will decorate it with hand made ornaments. we're such losers. i will obviously post pictures when i have them.


next weekend is my birthday and im really excited/scared that im going to die in the next ten days. shit maaaan.

11.30.2008

i can watch reality shows




holy crap. best thing i've ever seen on tv EVER

11.24.2008

i can see the end

so there are two weeks left of the semester and therefore two weeks left until my birthday.
i hope the feelings i have had inside me since i was 16 are incorrect. if they are not, then i have less than two weeks to live.

what am i gonna do?

i've decided on my thesis topic.
if i am not dead, i will work on making the worlds of art and design better by incorporating interactive exhibitions into art galleries and art museums, thus promoting peoples' understanding and appreciation of art.

if i am dead, maybe someone can do this in memory of me. just, you know, do all the research and all the work, and go ahead and slap my name on it.

thanks for that.

more of thesis talk to come.

11.23.2008

i can edit videos

i made this video in maybe...2002?

11.20.2008

i can fall in fake love

the L train is made for lovers, i swear.

he had the softest eyes
i thought about how if they were the first thing i saw
every morning for the rest of my life
that would be ok
i feel like i know him from before or something

i can make a lamp out of found objects

sometimes broken things make the best building supplies

i made a lamp out of found objects for my lighting class.

i originally intended to make it out of a garden hose all twisted around and knotted like you know how garden hoses get and suspend the light bulb inside this mess. after two hours of shoving 40 feet of 1/4" armature wire through the hose, forming it to an acceptable shape and wiring it, i gave up. my crude tools were not allowing me to create a base that would hold the whole thing above the table. (i didnt want there to be a base, but my teacher insisted. i will finish this lamp and keep it for myself, sans base...its pretty awesome)

so instead, at the last minute i decided to make the lamp out of negatives, empty film canisters, a book on photography, and an old kodak instamatic camera that i bought at a thrift store a few months ago. the film it takes is nonexistent anymore so i couldnt use it anyway.

here is how it turned out:


11.19.2008

i can get straight A's

so i guess this semester is kicking my ass kind of hard, but i have to say, im pretty much kicking its ass even harder.

some images from my fridge:







11.18.2008

i can wear mens underwear

about my invisible penis: written by jeremy behrhorst

standing on my chair
camel toe nonexistent
i got a dick, bro


(couldnt let all those dick pics go to waste!)

i can want this

i can wet my pants

in the past two weeks i have:

+designed many things
+not slept many hours
+hardly spoken with the people i love
+lost 7 pounds
+lost my mind

in the next two days i have to:
+create an identity for a museum that does not exist
+design and build a lamp made out of found objects
+decided what my thesis will be
+finish two websites
+make thousands of dollars


today i peed in my pants a little bit

11.16.2008

i can write haikus

a haiku called procrastination


sitting at my desk
staring at my ghost penis
wearing boxer briefs

11.12.2008

i can comment on the chenel contemporary art pavilion

kaaahl lagerfeld, is it true you had sloppy sex with zaha hadid?

so, as you all know (since the only people who read this blog are alfie and....alfie?) i love that wax enigma known to the world as karl lagerfeld. my feelings for zaha hadid are..not as strong.


(such the cute couple, cant wait for the sex tape)

but still. they have come together to create the Chanel Contemporary Art Pavilion which has recently been plopped down in central park.

i had the opportunity to see said pavilion last friday. thanks to my carefully color coded planner, i was able to score some tickets without having to wait on ridiculously long standby lines. (WOO!)



the guards or chanel militia or whatever were standing all around the pavilion. i was intrigued and excited by their custom chanel jackets and hats. i was even more excited when they spoke...in a very pleasant yet semi-robotic voice.

"welcome."
who does that.

anywayz. the structure looked like some sort of pearly white space ship. my favorite part about it was that it was so perfect and pristine and totally covered in bugs.



the experience inside was just as creepy as i would have liked it to be. you're greeted by like 5 different people all giving you very detailed instructions. you're immediately stripped of all your belongings and seated on a bench. a pleasant robot from the chanel militia places an mp3 player around your neck, because obviously you cant do things like that on your own. the robot sets your language and starts up the guided tour. a raspy, jeanne moreau begins growling demands into your ear. "stand up" "go left" "don't go up the stairs" "sit down" "unbutton your blouse". i felt like if i didnt listen and follow her instructions, she would know and would be very, VERY angry.

most of the artwork was....not...very good? i spent most of the time in the beginning trying to admire the interior architecture of the structure. this proved to be a difficult task when jeanne was ordering me around while weird new age music or whatever it was took over my brain. finally, i gave up trying to make the most of my own experience and surrendered to jeanne and the techno.

after this, i realized that maybe it wasnt so bad afterall. all i had to do was walk. i didnt have to decide what to look at or for how long, or how quickly to walk up stairs, or even what to THINK about what i was seeing! jeanne had all the answers! i was a robot too! and it was fucking awesome!

i feel like the interior of the exhibit is what the inside of karl lagerfeld's brain looks like. zaha's structure woven around and through all this chanel bullshit like synapses.



maybe if the art was good. maybe if the content related at all to zaha's structure. maybe if i was able to form my own opinions and create my own experience. maybe i could have enjoyed this exhibit. regardless, i have never seen anything like this, and will not soon forget it.

11.09.2008

i can always save a place in my heart for puma

im really glad puma decided to bring back my favorite shoe of all time.

im gonna need someone to buy these for me.


sneaker freaker







10.26.2008

i can live through bike kill 2008

yesterday was the most fun ever.
great friends, great weather, great brooklyn, great beer.
gallons of it.

some highlights:
:alfie having sex with a banana-person
:will drinking beer out of a broken 40 bottle
:the rain
:me getting run over by a wheelchair
:jb getting dragged a few yards while losing at tug-o-war
:coming home and hanging around the clubhouse pantsless
:giving each other tattoos

this weekend was exactly what i needed after the stressful week i had. im so glad midterms are over!