i can never have children

i nearly broke my ankle this weekend at my nephew Monster Truck's first birthday party. that's what i get for pretending to get shot down while running. NO ONE CAN DEFEAT OPTIMUS PRIME I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.

anyway, kids are disgusting but these guys are pretty cool. ryan took all of these. he is only 3.


i can mourn the death of OB

i don't know if anyone else noticed, but my favorite tampons have vanished from the shelves. at first i thought it was just a drought my hood but then after some internet research i realized that this was a global catastrophe. but i think i've gotten to the root of the problem: JOANA VASCONCELOS

how could you do this to me?


i can see where i get it from....

this is a card my father made for my mother for their first valentine's day.

it might be the most hilarious thing i have ever seen for a few reasons:

-my dad is a mechanic, hence the underlined 'brake' not 'break'
-the cover illustration? the blood is a great touch
-this was written before my dad had fully mastered english as his second language
-PURE ROMANCE. i like your all or nothing attitude dad. WELL DONE.


i can live in a motel room for 4 weeks

i've decided to move to montana for 4 weeks this summer to go to taxidermy school. when i get back, i will have:
-2 fish
-2 birds
-1 live sized mammal
-1 rug
-1 wall mount
as well as everything i'll need to start my own tannery. i'm gonna make so much leather.

I am going to try to sell these items to help cover the cost of my tuition. the student housing is a motel 6. in the middle of montana. basically someone is probably going to taxidermy me. I'm dead as day.

additionally, i've stumbled across this artist Claire Morgan, who now i am basically obsessed with. she has an amazing fly sculpture that looks eerily similar to the one i was planning with my fly collection that someone THREW IN THE GARBAGE. who would throw out a box of flies!? obviously someone was saving them.

see more of her work here!